just haizell

to a friend

Monday, July 9, 2007

to a friend,

i could not talk to you. im not good at words. yet, i know that you check out my blog once in a while, so im hoping that you could read this post.

you are so near to me, but for the past few days, you seem so far. i've been thinking about your silence that bothers me before i sleep, but i seem to forgot when i wake up in the morning. i let it be. I accepted your unspoken words without trying to know its meaning. you don't seem to hang out with us anymore. i felt you drifting and drifting away from me. i felt you closing your doors to me.

and it saddens me. only when a friend told me the reason of your silence i realized my unintentional mistakes.

im sorry for making you feel left out. i'm sorry if i seem to leave the door half open for you to enter. i'm sorry for partly making the distance larger because i didn't realize that the more i want to get close to another friend, the more our path diverge. i'm sorry if i didn't talk to you immediately when i learned that there was a problem. i'm sorry if i couldn't share some things to you because its hard to bring up a conversation, especially when the topic is important. i'm sorry for having more time for someone i adore that having time with you and getting to know you more. i'm sorry if for some time, i let you drift away. i just don't know what to do, nor what to say. i'm sorry for making this such an important matter. maybe you don't want to talk about it. maybe you don't want others to know. but, this is important to me and this is the only way i know to tell you how sorry i am.

you are my very first friend in this university. and though my friendship with others bloom more, you are still the first. and i don't want you to drift away.

during the summer break before the summer classes started, i was so excited to stay in our little home. my second family. but right now it seems to be such a mistake to move in this place because it marked the day when our friendship drift away.

i want you to know that i really miss our disco nights. our ice cream eatings. our dinner together. our chit-chats. our hanging out at the cafeteria after class. our movie watching. our video-oke. our dvd series watching. our pusoy. out sharing of computer games....
i'm getting cheesier in every word...

i know my grammar sucks and i could not express my feelings properly, but let this be a lesson to me that i would not do again.

i just hope that you're happy with the people you have right now. and i want to thank you for our friendship...

i hope it won't be so late to hope that our friendship in our little home would converge again, at a particular limit that exists.

Haizell
8:21 PM

[P]rofiles

And i am Haizell.
(imagine that I'm a contestant of Little Miss Philippines)
my name is kristine haizell s. anore
i live in binagonan, rizal (whereever in the world that is)
i am eighteen years old (it looks nicer when it is spelled)
i study at the ateneo de manila university (i have to mention that too... right?)
i am the youngest in the family (maybe you can sense now why im so childish.)
i like many things. (how vague can i get?)
and i hate few things too. (now thats more vague...)
i want to be successful in my chosen career ( i dont want to fail. thats why.)
i love my family and my friends (they are some special group of people living in the universe that i am blessed with.)